Wednesday, February 24, 2010

18 weeks today

i have gained about 14 lbs so far. feeling big yet everyone says i don't even look pregnant. so i asked dave about that. he candidly said that's because my stomach is not the only thing getting bigger - my whole body is. so it just looks like i'm gaining weight (not for a baby). nice...right after he said it he realized that it was the completely WRONG thing to say and tried to take it back...fortunately, i know what he means so i wasn't too upset. but still...not fun to hear it out loud.

i hope to have dave take a picture of "us" sometime soon and post for all you curious people out there. mainly...erica :)

saturday we were looking at the pregnancy book and read that the baby is about the size of our hands now. and they had an illustration of what it probably looks like. dave was shocked because it was the first time he'd looked at the book. he thought the baby still looked like a shrimp or something, like in the very, very early pics (like 6 weeks or something). so he was pretty excited to see that it looks human now. :) i thought he was so funny!

i thought that maybe i felt the baby move on sunday, but i'm not totally sure. i think that will be very exciting when i know for sure... :)

my pregnancy book told me not to sleep on my back or i would cut off the bloodflow to the baby. so i'm sleeping on my sides constantly. except there have been a couple times i've woken up in the night on my back. and i am almost panic-stricken because i don't want to do something to hurt the little thing. ahhh

i'm thankful that i am feeling great. and that on days that i don't feel 100% i often have the freedom to take it easy. david has given me that freedom because he's willing to work harder than ever before and because he's willing to not spend money on anything extra. i love him for all that.

we go to see the midwife again in about 10 days. hopefully we will hear the heartbeat again, etc.

Tuesday, February 9, 2010

heartbeat and other baby stuff

well, we heard the heartbeat last night. i thought it was pretty cool and started laughing. hey, at least i didn't cry! but i was just kind of relieved to actually have some sort of proof and evidence that the baby is indeed alive in there and really exists. dave had such a sweet look of pride when he heard it. he was thinking "that's my little baby in there!!" and he called me this morning to tell me that he'd been thinking about the baby all day and telling all his coworkers about the heartbeat. makes me so happy...

he was very pleased with our midwife. last night was the first time that he met her. and he couldn't hardly stop talking about what a good decision i'd made in going with her. i felt even more at peace with the decision too after last night.

we talked a lot about diet, exercise, etc. and nailing down the due date once again. now she's saying july 29th. originally it was july 28th. there's still some question about that. but i feel confident that it's a good guess. she said again that we could do a dating ultrasound right now but we decided not to. she's not really pushing it either way. it just might result in confusion later on if we think i'm only 36 weeks but really 38 or something. but from my charting before getting pregnant, i really think that i've got a pretty good guess.

we also discussed where in our house we might put the birthing tub and a little bit about how this will all go. the tub is 6 ft in diameter. so we are thinking it will either go in the great room (biggest room in the house). or *gasp* outside. how cool would that be? especially if it were night time. i don't think it would be that comfortable in the hot summer humidity. but she said that we can control the temp of the water, so we could make it cool like a swimming pool or something.

we got some videos to watch on water birth and a book to read for our mindsets going into labor. should be interesting.

Wednesday, February 3, 2010

well, i'm 15 weeks pregnant today. yay!  several people at church told me that i don't even look pregnant (oh how i love them!). but i know i've gained about 8 lbs. (i first lost about 5, then gained 13, but overall have gained 8) and all my pants are getting tight.

the past few nights have been really rough. i wake up all the time with different parts of my body aching and i get up to go to the bathroom at least once every night (i don't think there's been a night since november that i haven't gotten up...) but anyways, i guess God is just training me for waking up to take care of the baby soon. and that is quite alright.

and then i woke up this morning in tears because i know that our lives are going to change so much this year. don't get me wrong. i have always wanted to be a momma. and i'm SUPER EXCITED that i'm going to be one. but, for some reason, i got all weepy and sentimental this morning. this chapter of our lives is going to come to an end. the chapter that i was prepared to be only a year long (should our birth control not work or something) when we got married, that has turned into an almost 8 year journey. the chapter of it just being me and dave with no is soon to be over. and even though there have been times that i wanted nothing more than for this chapter to be over, now that it is closing, i'm sad. and i'm afraid that i'm too selfish, too set in my ways, too used to being spontaneous or independent or ...too fill-in-the-blank to be a good mom. these emotions are so weird and surprising to me.

and i want to go on one last vacation with david before we have our baby. we're talking about when we can do that. not sure if it will work out, etc. not only with time off work but financially. and even though i'm turbo saver, i want to go on this trip no matter what.